Wednesday, October 6, 2010

The Power of Remembering

Each day, myself and a few friends exchange emails. Today for some reason, after being overcome by emotion while watching an episode of Glee, I wrote them an emotional email. And it turned out to be something I didn't really expect. Because as I've mentioned, recently I have felt like I have had writer's block. 

For some reason, this email was like a key that unlocked all of the discombobulated thoughts inside of my head. It really helped piece together just what it is that my novel is about.  

As is usual,  I have been receiving a lot of questions about what my novel is actually about. I always feel somewhat shy to talk about the plot. With each new revision, I discover that there is far more to the plot than I initially expected. And what has recently been prominent is a concept of memory and how our memories, both thoughts and emotions, play a role in our lives.  

Thus, I have been thinking a lot about memory and remembering as of late. This is what I wrote in my email. 

Sometimes I think it is hard to remember. We get so caught up in the present and looking into the future, that often times we forget about all of the fantastic memories of the past. A few years ago, my grandma was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, now little by little she is losing herself. Each time I see her, there is some new part of her memory that has been stolen. She doesn't know me anymore. My grandma might not remember who I am today, but she does remember the little girl that I once was. When I am with my grandparents, my grandpa always tells the same five stories, as though there was nothing more to his life. But I realize, it is in those stories that he reminds my grandma of who we are. It takes just one memory to remind her of all of the other memories. 

We are our memories, the good and the bad. In our society, it is so easy to get caught up in a life that we think we should live. We want more and better stories to tell. But we cannot be anything but the people that God created us to be. He has created us with a purpose. It might be hard to always remember to put our trust in God, especially when we just feel lost and confused. We want answers and immediacy. But we need to remember that he has created us; he won't abandon us. This does not mean that our life will always be easy or exactly what we want, but if we let Him, it will be lived fulfilling God's purpose for us.  We can't abandon our past in order to look forward to the future. Our past is not some accidental series of events, but a chain of memories created to lead us to our now. We have to remember who we were in order to be who we will be. And we have to trust, even if maybe that person we desire to be is not exactly what God has in store. 

In conclusion, my grandma might not remember my name, but she does remember that she loves me. And she does know how to pray. When she prays, it is like she isn't sick at all. It is as though for that brief moment, God has restored her. In that moment when she prays, she is remembering the one true thing that matters, to have faith. I don't think that is something she will ever forget. 

What is my novel about? 

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