Tuesday, February 8, 2011

A Failed Success

About two months ago, when I was halfway finished with my novel, I set a deadline. A deadline that was meant to kick my rear into gear and send my word count sky rocketing. A deadline meant to force me to stop rewriting the beginning and actually invent an ending. That deadline was February 6, 2011. And am I finished? Not even close.

But that date wasn't just a deadline, it was also the anniversary of the first day I began my novel. That wonderful day one year ago when I opened up my novel in a month kit and began my journey as a real writer. Created my first word document called Novel1. And set out on my adventure.

Since then, I have clocked countless hours in coffee shops, on my chaise, during naps, instead of watching tv, on the el, while walking... all spent dreaming my story. The story has undergone numerous transformations. But remarkably, the essence has remained the same. The story of a girl just trying to discover her true self amidst the pressures of her world. She will face the question, is our future really ours to decide or is their no escaping our destiny?

Though I failed in my goal, I have succeeded in one thing -- not giving up.

So, to celebrate the first anniversary of my writing escapades, I will leave you with this randomly selected excerpt from my destined to be best selling novel, The Memory Rune.
Bentley was born to be popular. I however am just desperately trying to squeeze that shoe onto my foot. Trying to play a role I was never meant for. I wasn’t meant for the lifestyle of the privileged and vicious. But it found me anyway. It’s a dog eat dog world and you can only stay on top if you don’t mind unlatching someone else’s billet. Bentley has neither fear nor remorse for the repercussions of her actions. Make one mistake and she will shove you into the grand canyon.

I tried this approach my freshman year shortly after I made the cheerleading squad. Lauren Parker a pretty yet excessively uncoordinated sophomore, started a rumor that I had engaged in indecent behavior with the football coach. Apparently, a bad rumor is a lot harder to squelch than a good one. The rumor spread--fast. Bentley told me there was only one way to secure the position I had foolishly strived for. And that was to yank Lauren Parker’s pretty blond ponytail and throw her under the big yellow bus.

The wheels on the bus go round and round. And squash little Lauren Parker they did.

Well, the result was so catastrophic that I made a public decree that rumors were best dealt with by the truth not further lies. This grabbed the attention of Margaret Rose Liever who decided I was worthy of a spot at her table--the most popular table in school--to which I claimed with a bit of naiveté that I would only join if Bentley was also invited.

So, there you have it. This is how I served Bentley her popularity on a silver platter.

Nice only goes so far. Once Margaret graduated, the top position was for the taking, but at a hefty price--a soul. Though they liked me, Bentley won. They weren’t looking for ways to help the elderly and paint park benches. They wanted drama. They wanted blood.

People might like to pretend that the good of others is in their train of thought, but really, they only seek to further their own self-satisfaction. We are human and we are in high school. The only things we have going for us are the desirable things we have that others don’t. Desire and jealousy are met with a bitter need for pride. Build yourself up by tearing others down. And Bentley is a wrecking ball.

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