Monday, March 28, 2011

How our teeth are like our lives: part 2

Well, I did it. Braved the dentist. And let's just say, I am really regretting that I did. Though the truth is easy to find, sometimes it is not so easy to hear.

It was horrible. Beyond horrible. My worst nightmare come true. Despite my ability to give pep talks, I don't often take my own advise. And I did not accept the words gracefully... The consensus -- cavities. Not just one, but a few. Eeek. I shook my head aggressively, pulled at my hair and ripped out a chunk of my skin in hopes that I was just inside a very realistic nightmare. Alas, I did not wake up.

It took everything within me to refrain from letting the tears fall in front of the evil dentist. Okay, I am sure he is perfectly lovely, but someone can't deliver such heinous news and expect me to say anything nice about them. Regardless, the tears came as the very friendly receptionist was trying to dim the overwhelming cost of fillings. All I could do was stare at her and nod in between my whimpers. But, if I could have managed to squeak out some words, I would have said...

"It's not about the money. I can handle the money. Though, do you know the shoes I could buy with that cost!! I could buy a pair of Manolo Blahniks. Anyway, I am a perfectionist. And now I am more than a little embarrassed (thence the tears) that I have abominations in my mouth. So don't tell me how I can manage the costs; just tell me that this is all a very big joke!"

Reality, I wasn't infallible. Something I didn't want to happen actually did. I was overwhelmed and incredibly distraught. But our lives are like our teeth. Sometimes we run into things we never wanted to face. So I cried out my frustration. Talked to all of the people who knew how to make me feel better. And wore my James Dean t-shirt to bed. Letting his insightful words ring in my ears. "Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today." It was time to move on. Accept the truth and find a silver lining.

As the news was spoken to my unwanting ears, Miley Cyrus' one good song, The Climb was playing in the background. Though I have my opinions about Miley, I love this song.

I want to be a published writer. It is crazy how my little hobby has turned into something that I really want to become something more. Though I still tread in shallow waters, maintaining a realistic outlook, I want a book I have written to line the walls of book stores. But long before that can happen, I need to be willing to accept some awful news maybe thousands of times. And every time I get turned down, I can't break apart into a tiny million pieces and let the news destroy my life. I have to accept it. Hear the words and use it not as a defeat, but as a way to grow and get better.

Sometimes you have to hear that word cavity to realize that perhaps things are not perfect. But a cavity can be fixed; it can be filled. And then you know the truth, maybe you need to work on your flossing. Life isn't going to end because you hear some bad news. It is just going to take a bit more endurance. Maybe the road ahead is an uphill climb, but it is worth making just to reach the view that awaits you at the top.

And remember, whether the road is flat or steep, you are never alone. 

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